Monday, 21 December 2015

6 Things That Make Me Feel Alive

When I am less histrionic, which is not an everyday event, I know Soul of Universe has blessed me with a beautiful life. It is just that in ruckus of life I often forget to thank Her for blessings she has showered upon me. 

But there are moments when I want to remember what matters. What makes me feel alive!

1- Walk in Nature- Men is petty. If he will go up and up in the sky and see himself from there he will realize he is nothing but another colony of animals that occupy the earth. And yet we give so much importance to our lives. It’s only when I take a walk in nature, I feel connected to this pettiness of my life. I feel happy to be a small tiny part of something that is so magnanimous. The mountains make me realize that in all those trees there must be living small bugs, beautiful creatures, creepy centipedes… 
The vast ocean makes me realize that there will be lacks of fishes swimming in this ocean at this very moment. There is so much to life, and I am so small. I feel as happy with my smallness as a child feels in the arms of her parents. I love my Mother. I love Nature.

2- Reading The Geeta, The Ramayana, and The Mahabharata to my four years old daughter.
It’s said that a child can pick a language without any formal training if the child is exposed to the language before the age of twelve. I want my daughter to learn Sanskrit. I want her to read the most intelligent literature that exists on this planet written by men, in the language it was written in. Nothing religious about this, it's science of wisdom. 

3- Intuitive Writing- I don’t know how many people can say this about their work, that they love their work but I can say that. I love, simply love my work. Many people might say that your work is supposed to be HARD and DIFFICULT and IMPOSSIBLE to achieve. I feel that something that a person is born to do, something that is his DHARMA always comes naturally to him. I have taken a very long route to realize that I am a story-teller. And the moment of this realization occurred when I figured out that I enjoy writing more than I enjoy anything else. That is what work is supposed to be. It is supposed to be one of the most fulfilling experiences of life.

4- Finishing a Book- I say I am a vivacious reader. It’s a lie. I have picked up reading for fun very late in my life. As a matter of fact, I started reading for fun only after I came in college. During my school days, I was one of the top rankers of my class, and in India, unfortunately, this is a class that don’t read OUTSIDE textbooks.
Therefore, I never picked the habit of reading for fun. I read mostly to learn something. Even when I read fiction, I read it with intention of learning the craft. And therefore, one of my personal good moments with a book is when I am done with a book. I won’t say that I never enjoy company of a book. Over year, I have learnt what I enjoy reading and I don’t read the books that torture me for the sake of looking intellectual, but still, I enjoy when I am done with a book, I keep it aside and I think my thoughts that resulted as a result of reading that book.

5- Three Sisters- They say parents are supposed to be most important people for a person in family of origin. In my case, that is not true. The most important people in my family of origin for me are my sisters. It's not that I don't love my parents, but I can't see my life without my sisters and the lovely kids they gave birth to. Our non-stop chattery conversation makes life worth sharing. For each of us, it's like if we have not spoken about something to the other two, we have not lived that moment. 

6- Silent Conversation- And I savor the most special one for last. 
One needs to be around a mindful person to realize the dwarf like life one often lives. This is what I feel when I am around my spouse. He is one of the most intuitive people I have known in my life.
My conversation with mere mortals go something like,
“So, then I did this and that and went here and there… and bla and bla..”
My conversation with this person is like, SILENCE… “So, you know…”
“Yes, I do.”
And when he says he does understand what I say without me uttering a word, he actually knows it.
This feeling that someone knows what you are saying without you explicitly saying something is conversation. 

Kirtida Gautam is a clinical psychologist and author of the novel #IAm16ICanRape: The War Against Rape Culture
Follow her on Twitter @KirtidaGautam

Saturday, 19 December 2015

Madness of Monkey Dance

How many of you have heard the famous story from the Mahabharata in which Guru Dhrona asks all his students about the bird and the eye?
“What do you see when you look at the bird,” he asked.
The student answered, “We see tree, sky, mountain, bird, and the eye of the bird.”
Only Arjuna could answer correctly to the question. Arjuna answered, “I can’t see anything but the bird’s eyes.”
Guru Dhrona said, “Excellent, now, shoot!”
Arjuna shoot the bird’s eye.
Do you know in today’s time if the same test is taken and Arjuna will give the answer, I can see only bird’s eye, what will be the response?

That is the unfortunate reality of today’s time.  We postulate that mind works better when it handles too many things in parallel. WRONG.

It order to achieve the excellence of mind, the mind needs to be FOCUSED. That focus is an integral part of the success. But we don’t give the mind the opportunity to succeed. We flood it with so much data and irrelevant information and experiences that it gets confused and sits in a corner thinking.
Why am I doing what am I doing?
And this also ONLY if the mind is evolved.

More often, the mind continues its monkey dance without even realizing that it is going round and round in circles without achieving anything worthwhile.
We are forced to live a life where we go to work everyday to make someone very rich. The work, which is NOT our life business.
We buy things that hardly give us any pleasure.
We don’t have time to spend with our children and yet we claim to be the PARENTS .
It’s such a monkey show going on.
Worst part, the show is not even funny!

Kirtida Gautam is the author of novel #iAm16iCan 

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Feminine Intelligence- Yin

Albert Einstein said, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
Intuitive Mind is the Feminine- Yin- Intelligence: Rational Mind is the Masculine- Yang- Intelligence.
In nature, they always works in harmony, creating pure bliss. Human society should have imitated nature. What we are doing in name of civilization is butchering of natural laws.
“You assign masculine quality to Aarush’s intelligence. But his intelligence is feminine in nature.” Samvedana says.
“Feminine intelligence?” I ask almost shocked. I had no idea intelligence have genders.
I try to understand what she mean, but I am clueless.
“Yes, he possesses feminine intelligence. You assumed that his intelligent is masculine because of his competence in maths and Physics. Here again, he reaches the same destination where you reach but he takes a different route. Where you see numbers, he sees patterns.”
Excerpt from IAm16 ICanRape

Friday, 7 August 2015

Book Over Television

Reading habits of Indians.
Sadly, many people are willing to spend their time and energy in exposing themselves to audio-visual media, but when it comes to readings, Indians are becoming lazier by years. Today I filled a questionnaire by my friend and an avid reader Ritesh Kala who runs the company Read Out Loud. While filling the questionnaire I realized that it's a fact that reading as an Art is losing its significance in our lives, thanks to over exposure to media which over a period of time makes us lose our attention span.
Many people say that they don't read because they don't have time. I find this the lamest excuse not to read. This same people more often than not watches television for extended hours during a day.
If you are actually serious about incorporating the habit of reading in your life, take out half an hour everyday, preferably same time and read a book. Do this for a week, just the way most of the people watch a show around same time every day. You will see changes in your mental capacity. Reading as a habit calms you down, because no matter what you read, the mind has to work independetly on creating the images that are written on paper. That makes reading an active activity, unlike television viewing which is a passive activity.
In my opinion television is to mind what McDonald burger is to body. Yes, it's junk food for mind.
Reading a book will make you more of a mind person (intuitive type) whereas exposure to audio-visual media will make you more of a body person (sensory type)
Read my upcoming second book of ‪#‎YinYangSeries‬ to know more how intuitive type is superior to sensory type grin emoticon
Author of IAm16 ICanRape

Saturday, 1 August 2015

Thank you Auto Vale Bhaiya

Today in the morning I had to go to RMV Extension, The Jamun, for the workshop The Math of Books help by Jayapriya Vasudevan and Krishna Udayasankar. It was a fabulous workshop... a separate post on that later smile emoticon...what a time I had!!
But while reaching to the destination, I hired an auto. The driver took God only knows which path. He charged me 250 bucks for no reason and then in the middle of the road I had to change the auto as this guy was unnecessarily took me four kilometers away from my destination to increase the meter charge.
On my way home, I hired this auto (I have attached the picture of the driver in this post) who took the shortest path to bring me back to my place. I felt thankful to him that I said, "Thanks Bhaiya, you took the shorter path."
He smiled back and said (In Hindi), "No issues Didi, we also work hard to earn money. But there is no value in money if we cheat our customers to earn an extra 10 or 20 bucks." I felt good about what he said.
So, I want to say him thanks for his actions and his words.

Saturday, 25 July 2015

Beautiful lines from book Velvet Rage

The one and only skill that resolves the crisis of meaning is that of acceptance. Learning to accept the things in life as they are in the present moment. 
When you drop the struggle with shame and accept life as it is without judgment, you find great freedom on the other side. It is freedom to be who you are, exactly as you are. The only real meaning in life is found in being who you are right now, without apologies. 
You don’t need to be more spiritual, richer, friendlier, better looking, younger, or living on a beach. In this moment, all you need to be is you. Only in that space will you find lasting contentment.

Velvet Rage- pg 106

Ma ke haath ka khana

Role of Feminine
From evolutionary point of view,
To cook food that enhances the health of individual families
To raise children who can experience positive emotions (Positive emotions are emotions that a human-system is drawn towards, for example, wonder, joy, courage, love),
are two primary roles that feminine energy is supposed to play in a society.
A society that thinks, "Aurate sirf khana banane ke liye aur baccho ki dekh-bhal karne ke liye paida nahi hui," (Women are not born to cook food and raise children) is a regressive society.
A society that understands that cooking food while preserving its nutrition and raising kids with emotional intelligence are two major roles of an evolving society is a progressive society.
The generations of women who cooked means after meals for their kids are actually unsung heroes of our society. I too am not a good cook, but I truly give 10/10 to women who conditioned their kids to like healthy "Ma ke haath ka khana"

Friday, 24 July 2015


Aparigraha, non-hoarding, is an important step in yoga. Even intellectual hoarding is a hoarding. A person who has gyan needs to give away that gyan. Out of all the things in the world, giving away knowledge is one of the noblest giving. That is the reason why in ancient times people who used to give away knowledge, Brahmins, used to be considered above all the others. The teachers had a major role to play in our society in ancient times. They used to be considered even above the kings. Where have we reached now? Why does teaching as a profession not give as much importance as it deserves? Why do the best minds of our times don’t go in teaching?