Monday, 15 February 2016

Cultivating emotional independence in children

Isn’t emotional independence equally important as financial independence?

What makes you an independent human being, financial control or emotional stability?


As a parent, most of us want to give the best of education to our children. But let’s keep one hand on our hearts and ask why. Is it because we want our child to be intellectually stimulated and learn the things he/she wants? Partly yes, but most of all we want our child to complete and get scores that secure them stable jobs and careers. There is no harm in wanting this. I am a believer of financial independence. Financial independence is not only about money. It gives you a sense of self-responsibility, self-control and also contributes in stirring self-esteem. But does it only take your earning capability to make you truly independent? Honestly, No. As humans, we are bounded by many other faculties of our psyche. We are emotionally dependent on other human being around us, be it our parents, spouse, friends or children. And that dependency leaves us vulnerable for others to take advantage of us.

If we spend a fortune in making our child financially independent, why it doesn’t strike us that we also need to put efforts in making our child emotionally strong and independent, in order to protect them. I am not asking about making them emotionally cold. We want our child to experience a full range of emotions like love, gratitude, bonding, fear, loss, and pain.

But do you want them to be dependent on others for dealing with these basic emotions?

Do you want your children to be with someone just because they are scared of being alone?

Or want them to be vulnerable to exploitation because they aren’t able to stand for themselves?

If the answer to the above questions is No, then isn’t it time to think what can we do as parents to make our child emotionally strong and healthy?

One mistake we make as a society is driving all our efforts in motivating our next generation to just focus on building their careers and undervaluing the emotional faculties that require an equal amount of care and grooming. We suppress any emotions that we think might get in the way of success for them. And by doing so either we raise our children to be dispassionate and impersonal or emotionally dependent and passive.
In order to raise an emotionally healthy child, we need to educate ourselves in understanding the function of professional competence as well as emotions in human lives, the balance between thinking and feeling. We need to observe, accept and acknowledge the emotional stages our child undergoes without labeling it right or wrong.
If you want them to overcome their fear, let them recognize it and face it. If you want them to rise, let them fall. Let them be sad, angry, ecstatic, courageous, and above all, let them be who they are.

I am a freelancer into social media marketing, creating a platform for new authors and promoting their books, also enjoy blogging.

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